Lent Blog Day Six

Lent Blog Day Six.

The last 24 hours have been very interesting and filled with mixed emotions from everyone involved. I am back on my meds and the boys almost sleep thought although Bryn is still under the weather and wanted me 247 to hold him.

Trying to de-clutter as been a great help and given us all more space to run around in doors; the garden is looking better now too. No more broken glass to cut our bare feet on in the summer. I am hoping to have a BBQ for my birthday that coincides with 1St July event that is taking place locally that I will be attending.

Callan had a good eating day and we even had time to night to go to the park and see nan. I have looked at not eating late and trying to be in bed by 22.00. Although last night I did fall down the stairs again due to still suffering with sleep derivation.

All my blood came back fine, which means that it must be sleep derivation that is effective me still physically, mentally and emotionally.

Lent Blog Day Five

Lent Blog Day 5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QzpSeDsHIw

Where did day 4 Go? Yesterday was Sunday and a day that I try to stay off line and be their for my children all day. Plus my youngest was unwell so I put his needs first. He is still unwell and I had to call in back up. It is nice when you count of those around you for support and is something that not everyone as. In today’s society people are less welcoming and neighbourly.

I mean a really neighbour and not a “curtain twitched.” Just some one that can support you in a cries and be a shoulder for you to cry on. Even with social networking this is still something that seams to be lost in translation and not on tap.

This is were at times having faith and being part of a church helps me out and makes me feel like I am not alone. It reminds me that everyone needs help for time to time. I try to use this to try and forget my problems and see how I can help other with theirs.

I always feel so guilty, ashamed and stupid when asking fro help, it is not because I am scared to or stubborn but because I feel week when I depend of the support of some else.

I am looking at working on this. Today was a good day and I played with my children and not just spent the day cleaning up the mess that they make. Bed time was still not good and had to call for help. But all tucked in bed now and I will now do the same.

Bill Withers - Lean on me (original song)

Lent Blog Day Three

Lent Blog Day Three.

I have been going though all of my magazines and I will be putting them on line to sell from £5.00 including free UK postage. I am currently gleaning any reliant information from them to keep and use in the future.

I have also started a new Art Project and been a really BITCH towards my boys who never listen to me and believe they are superman.

Started meds again and now it is time for bed.

Lent Blog Day Two

Lent Blog Day Two

Now that it is the week end I have 3 days to get my life into some sort of order again My mum as offered to take my son dancing and their dad is working so I am aiming to get sleep back to 20.00 and not 22.00 because daddy visited during half term break.

I know that eating late and it being Chocolate from my mum is not a good idea but I need a lift. I also need to find a way for getting my boys to listen to me. If this could happen I am sure my stress levels would decrease ten folds. This is something that I need to work on other wise I will be in an early grave and one I can not afford.

Today I looked at seeing how I could go back to work, Bottom line I would be looking at paying around £2,000 before I can do so in training and about 6 months volunteer work IF I looked at working for some one else. I am going to go to the Education show at the NEC in the next few weeks and I will make a decision about furthering my career in the education sector or something else.

I will also look at maybe doing some volunteer work in September when both of my boys are in nursery. For now Routine, take my medication and wait of my blood test. Eat chocolate, drink tea and sleep.

Michael Jackson - Man In The Mirror (Official Video)

Lent Blog Day One

Lent Blog Day one.

And breath! I have final got the children into bed after another stressful day, full of doctors, hospitals, blood test, broken items and lost keys. Not for getting “I want daddy and not you any more!”

So far looking to the futre and trying to stay positive whilst doing so as not gone to well. What I have found out fro today is that my health is not good and I need to do something to improve it NOW. Also the relationship between me and my children is not good either due to my ill health.

One of the main things that I have always had trouble with is stress and working under presure. To to mention being organised and remembering where things are. Over the years I have tried to think of different ways to cope and get thought the day.

But having other people to take care of, means that things do not always go to plan and my health goes out of the window. So what do I so about it?

Today was a positive step more blood tests and antibiotics. The second one is sleep. I need to try and find away to get my children to sleep though for me just like they do for their nan and dad on over night visits.

Eating, I need to stop eating late at night and lower my caffeine in take and up my fruit and vegetables.

I need to start making a list of things to do each day and do it!

That is all of now I will write again tomorrow.